Susan Geraldine Gray

With great sadness and profound respect for the life she lived, we announce the passing of Susan Geraldine Gray, who died bravely and peacefully on December 22, 2022 at home in Pittsboro, NC.  

Susan was diagnosed with ALS in November of 2019 and faced her 3 year journey with courage and grace. 

Susan was born in Toms River, NJ on October 4, 1947 – a birthday she shared with her mother Betty.

By her own account, Susan enjoyed ice skating alone as a girl on the frozen pond in the winter woods, and loved the smell of lilacs in the spring.  She and her little brother Bobby would shoot fiberglass bows & arrows made by their boat building Uncle Joe, and she also learned she liked to eat corn on the cob – cold - at the big table in her Aunt Mamie’s house. Throughout her life she amused and amazed her family with her ability to clean an ear of corn to perfection. 

Susan’s teenage years were spent in Eau Gallie, Florida where her father Robert worked at Cape Canaveral.  She was quiet and shy, but as the eldest of five siblings Susan cooked for all and established her life-long role early as the steady, calm voice they all leaned on when needed.  Susan’s love for the beach began here on the Florida coast, where she inaugurated a new firehouse as “Miss Flame”.  (Her dress was singed when the ribbon was burned through in lieu of being cut).  Living in a small 3 bedroom house for seven with a dachshund named Boo, Susan first found freedom in her friend Sandy’s new Ford Falcon convertible, and more independence driving her own dad’s VW.  Her first job was as stenographer at the RCA Service Company in Cocoa Beach. 

Susan married Edward Ricker in 1967 and they transferred to Burlington, NC where her children were born - Mark and Elizabeth.  They moved again in 1972 to Omaha, NE and in 1975 to Littleton, CO, wherefrom she travelled most of the country with her family in an infamous motor home called The Establishment.  In the late 70’s Susan wanted to work again; by the time she left her temp placement job at Re/Max, she had risen to become fulltime assistant to the president of the company.  Another transfer in 1980 led back to North Carolina where Susan became active again in the Episcopal Church of the Holy Comforter, and was paired with Elon Professor Linda Bland through their CLAY Group.  Initially an “unlikely pairing”, the two became truly good friends and Linda encouraged Susan (not if, but “When you go to college ...”) to pursue her higher education. Susan graduated from UNCG with a Bachelor in Science in 1986 and completed her Master of Education one year later.  Susan began a new phase of her life after she and Ed parted ways, and began working for the Burlington City Schools. 

In 1989, Susan rented a post office box in Graham and placed an ad in the Personals section of the Spectator, N.C.’s Largest Circulation Newsweekly. (Attractive, Quiet DWF, 42, non-smoker, on path of personal growth.  Enjoy outdoors, nature, casual lifestyle.  Believe in relationship without losing sense of self.  Are you a sensitive, caring S/DWM who listens to your mind and heart, who takes care of yourself and enjoys solitude and togetherness?)  Robert “Bob” Suber of Cary replied to that ad – and they soon began their life together, leading them to a small cabin in the Pittsboro woods. Susan became a Speech Pathologist for the Chapel Hill-Carrboro City Schools, helping scores of children with speech difficulties find their voice. Her co-workers became her cherished friends for years. She adopted two Siamese cats who needed a home, Jake & Carly, and loved them nearly as much as Bob and her children.  In 2005 Susan became Grandma to her beloved Isabel, and doted on her every chance she got.

Always unassuming, Susan charmed Angela Bassett, Allison Janney, Meryl Streep, and Daniel Day-Lewis among others, as Mark was now working in the film business.  She did express, however, surprising and uncharacteristic enthusiasm about meeting Mick Jagger. When the opportunity seemed to fall into question, the once shy and quiet Susan declared to her son, “I am your Mother. I want to meet Mick Jagger.”  She charmed him too. 

When Elizabeth was considering who she could spend 10 days with driving across the country to Seattle, she thought of her mother. Liz’s friends thought she was crazy to consider such a thing, while she looked forward to it.  She and Susan had grand adventures together - outrunning bison, visiting the Corn Palace (more corn...), pitching tents and camping the way through. 

After Susan spotted a small teardrop “Tab” camping trailer while visiting her family in Florida, she and Bob bartered the price down, decorated it up and began attending yearly Blue Ridge Rallies, where they met fellow Tabbers and forged long and lasting friendships.  “Tabouli” was hauled to 45 states, National Parks and movie sets.  They hiked, biked and kayaked, and Susan published the photography she made along the way.  She had a beautiful eye for the intimate moment.  She loved lighthouses, collecting seashells and rabbits of all shapes and sizes.  Susan made her first trip across the ocean to visit the Paris set of “Julie & Julia”, and was pleased with successfully navigating the city on her own after accidentally leaving her map at The Louvre.  She loved Paris – and then London, Edinburgh and the Scottish Highlands.  She and Bob left the Tab stateside for wonderful and wide trips to China and Italy, but always looked forward to returning home. They had long ago built their dream home behind the cabin at the end of the dirt road – with a wide porch, wind chimes and surrounded in the summertime by sweet black-eyed Susans. 

There was also pickleball to be played; Susan was one of the original members in the Pittsboro league and was particularly known for her fierce serve.  She stopped playing only upon the advent of the pandemic and her diagnosis – but continued her deep friendships with fellow pickles Janice, Bill, Deb & Eloisa – and her family is eternally grateful for their support. 

Susan’s quiet nature hid a passionate competitiveness.  No matter the game, anyone who played her experienced that drive and spirit.  She was whip-smart, outrageously organized and the only one in the house who knew how everything worked.  Her boldest and final adversary was herself, who wouldn’t allow her Wordle streak to go unbroken until the last day.  She hit 143. 

Susan is survived by her devoted husband of 31 years, Robert Suber, and her children - son Mark Ricker of New York City, daughter and son-in-law, Elizabeth Ricker and Peter Rich of Durham and granddaughter, Isabel Ricker Rich.  She is also survived by her 96 year-young father Robert L. Gray; her sisters Judy Shields, Beth Walker, Nancy Riggs and brother Robert Gray; her cousins Karl, John and Mark Bentel;  Bob’s son John and daughter-in-law DeeAnn and grandson Brady; her nieces and nephews, and all her faithful friends.  Susan is predeceased by her mother, Elizabeth J. Gray who departed this life in 2009.  (As well as Jake & Carly). 

A service for Susan will be held at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in Pittsboro, NC on Saturday, January 28, 2022 at 2:00 p.m.  An appropriately informal celebration of her life will follow with spirits and memories.    

Donations may be made to the ALS Association of NC Chapter, 4 N. Blount Street #200, Raleigh, NC 27601, or Chatham OutReach Alliance, PO Box 1326, Pittsboro, NC 27312. 

Condolences can be received here at www.donaldsonfunerals.com